The life of a firstborn child
They say firstborns are the most privileged children because most of them receive first parental love since it is from a firstborn that the parents start their parental journey.
In normal situations, first-time parents are often excited when they learn they are pregnant. It is a joyous moment for many and an achievement because children are the successful fruits of marriage.
Firstborn children in most marriages are always welcomed in a warm manner. Just by the announcement of their existence in a mother’s womb, the research about how to take care of a child begins pregnancy journals and books and buying lots of clothes, gifts and gadgets for their bundle of joy.
Once the baby is born now the house is filled with love, joy and happiness. Every smile, cry, cough, every detail even a fart is considered with care and attention. At this stage, the firstborn is the centre of attraction.
Unfortunately, this precious moment does not last for a long time for the firstborns especially if the parents will be having more children. Being a firstborn comes with a bunch of responsibilities, expectations and demands.
Just as they were eagerly expected with lots of joy and responsibilities ahead of their birth, parents expect the best from firstborns, they are expected to be the best and lead as an example to the rest. Most first borns are raised by their parents in rare cases are nannies left to raise them. So with these, parents expect a lot from them.
They are normally expected to perform well in school and be responsible in every aspect. With this, firstborns are usually the second parents in a family. Excellency and perfection are usually demanded in a firstborn child. Parents expect them to carry on the family title and legacy. Some are forced to take care of their siblings at an early age, even when they can barely take care of themselves.
These expectations are moulded inside them at an early age. Sometimes the outcome is positive and at times it is draining, it traumatizes their childhood lest making them have bad childhood memories that trigger their older self.
Being firstborn comes with its own luxury and misery. So let’s have a look at the good side of being a firstborn child.
They are more independent
Firstborns have no problem surviving on their own because they started being responsible at an early age. They are able to juggle through life and make ends meet since they believe it’s an obligation they have to succeed in life.
They work extra hard
Most firstborns work very hard to be the best in every aspect sometimes it’s not because they want but because it’s to please their parents. They are raised to believe that they should be first in everything just like their birth position. They believe it is only through working hard that they will capture their parents’ attention and affection
They are leaders
Just by their birth position as first, firstborns are natural leaders. They take charge of almost all aspects and by this, most of them take leadership roles be it in school, church or even workplaces. In fact, most US presidents were firstborn children as well as many CEOs such as Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton, Beyonce, Oprah Winfrey and Winston Churchill
They are reserved and avoid trouble
In most households, firstborns are the most well-behaved and avoid bad behaviours such as drug abuse, violence and sexual behaviours as compared to the middleborns and lastborns. This is because parents tend to punish them a lot and put strict measures which instil fear in them.
They are emotional and care much
Eldest siblings are more likely to be more sympathetic and care so much. Growing up taking care of his or her younger ones means a lot of listening, understanding and protection. This makes them second mothers and fathers in the absence of a parent.
On the contrary, there are challenges that come along with being the eldest which affects their wellbeing and upbringing. Here are some of the challenges firstborn children go through.
They are lonely
Eldest children tend to feel abandoned and lonely. They feel deprived of the happiness, love and attention they received while young and now they are the ones to take responsibility and step in as second parents. This sometimes makes them loners and rebellious because they feel they are no longer loved and appreciated.
They carry all the siblings’ burden
If something wrong happens in the family, firstborns are questionable. In most cases, they receive harsh punishment compared to the other children. Parents are also sometimes overly harsh when correcting them and give them very strict rules with harsh consequences and failure to them.
They strive for perfection
Most firstborns believe that they should be nothing but perfect. Most time it’s not their wish but it’s their upbringing. Most firstborns are raised under strictness and the belief that they have to be successful since they are the pacesetters of the family and sometimes they end up living a life for their family and not for their own self.
They become overcontrolling
Due to their upbringing, they are raised to be leaders and take care of the younger ones. They fight to maintain and prove their first position in the family and sometimes fight and quarrel a lot with their younger ones creating a superiority complex among them. Just as their parents were authoritative towards them they want to project it to the younger children which can sometimes lead to disagreement.
Suffer from a mental breakdown
Due to the nature of their upbringing, firstborns tend to feel that they have been abandoned and have no one to listen to them and understand them, thus leading to them being stressed, and having suicidal thoughts while others might indulge in harmful activities such as drug abuse and other bad behaviour.
As a firstborn, it is important to be aware that you are no less but a child just like any other and it is okay not to be perfect. Do what you are capable of, and it is important to be responsible a leader and all that but do not compromise your happiness and mental health. You matter.